Life · politics · Presidential

Screaming Into the Tweetosphere


This is twice now President has blindly parroted a web site. First, he says he saw the story about “what happened in Sweden Friday” on Fox News. He didn’t, but let’s go with that excuse. Now, he’s tweeted a totally baseless Breitbart story about Obama wiretapping Trump Tower. I’m not sure he understands what it means to be President of the United States. If the President makes an accusation like this, it warrants a special investigation. That will cost millions of dollars. The man who promised to cut the Federal budget, blindly blathers on about election fraud and wire tapping, inviting a multi-million dollar investigation.

So what is he up to? What’s going on inside the hamster wheel he calls a brain? Here are the possibilities.

  1. He has no clue what the office of the President is and has no idea how to execute his duties. He doesn’t understand restraint and measured words to keep the government sound and not waste money and manpower.
  2. He does understand the power of his position and he’s doing these things maliciously. That is the sign of a maniac or some other mental illness. Normal people don’t try to throw the country into a panic for nothing.
  3. He’s trying to detract from other news stories. This could be a subplot to any other reason, but it seems anytime Russia’s ties to this administration start creeping onto the front page, another outlandish tweet is fired from the President’s unsecured phone.
  4. He’s just round-the-barn-and-up-the-tree insane. If this is the case, he believes his own fabrications and alt-right news sites. His tweets are just that of a conspiracy nut parroting the stories that support his confirmation bias.
  5. What he is tweeting is true. This seems unlikely since most of his statements, when researched, are proven false.

None of these are preferable options. If these things are true, it is best to use the Presidency to structure an investigation, not fire blindly into the tweetosphere. If he’s insane, he needs to be removed from office before he damages the country further. If he’s distracting us from Russia, he’s trying to cover his own treason. If he understands the power of his office, he’s being an evil, vindictive, man who is trying to further divide the country no matter how much he talks about healing and bipartisanship. If he is clueless, he is dangerous to the security of the United States.

Which do you think it is or do you have your own theory? Discuss.

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Why You’re a Horrible Person


It’s sadly predictable. Any time a tragedy like the Sandy Hook shooting occurs, the crazies pull out their soap boxes and start shouting at the top of their lungs. They don’t address the situation. They use the situation. They have their own, very specific axe to grind and that’s how they approach it.

Are they anti-gun? They start screaming about assault weapons. Are they pro-gun? They start screaming that Obama will use this to take your guns away. Are they ultra-conservative Christians? They blame the heinous act on removing prayer from schools. Are they militant atheists? They blame it all on extreme religious fanatics. Are they Iran? They blame it on the Jews. (I didn’t make that last one up.)

If when you saw the news about Sandy Hook, your first impulse was to reach for your soap box, you’re a horrible human being. If your first thought was, “See, my conspiracy theory fits here if I tweak this just a tad,” you are a sorry excuse for an evolved primate.

If your first thought wasn’t “Oh my fucking god! Why would anyone do such a vile and horrible thing?” You are a horrible person. If your second thought wasn’t, “I hope those parents and families find some sort of solace and peace and this doesn’t eat up their entire lives.” You are a horrible person. If you tried to bend the news to fit your world view, you are a conspiracy nut and you deserve to get locked in your bomb shelter.

Tragedies like Sandy Hook happen because there are evil, sociopaths in this world. It isn’t some MK-Ultra, government mind-control experiment. The shooter isn’t carrying a copy of Catcher in the Rye. The shooter is mentally ill. There is no other explanation for killing 20 kids than that. Period. Full stop. Paragraph break.

Weep for the lost. Weep for the survivors. Even weep for the shooter. But don’t start placing blame on your conspiracy of choice or imagined cause du jour.

Now continue weeping for all the children who will die today, not from bullets, but from starvation. Hundreds will die from lack of clean water. Dozens will die from land mines left from long-forgotten wars. A few may die from a drone-strike gone wrong. It doesn’t have to happen in Connecticut to hit close to home or heart. Weep and continue weeping until all the children on this planet have at least a chance to grow up.

Fashion

The Worldwide Sock Conspiracy


Kids, I came to a frightening realization today; socks are slowly taking over the world. They are doing it very slyly and subtlety. First, watch this video wherein I explain what the cheeky bastards are up to. Then, check your sock drawer. You’ll see that I’m right. Something has to be done, people! What it is, I don’t know…yet, but I’ll figure it out. If you have suggestions about how to handle this situation, please let me know what we can do about the worldwide sock conspiracy. We must unite, stand together, and never waiver, no matter how these insipid socks try to control our minds.


Link for the embed impaired.
We are the 50/50% poly-cotton blend.

agoraphobia · Chicago · crazy · crime · insane · Lane Bryant · murder · robbery · violence

Another Good Reason to Never Leave the House


My wife suffers from agoraphobia.  To be completely honest, we both suffer from her agoraphobia. Now she has one more good reason to stay home.

She just popped in from the other room and said, “This is why I buy my clothes on-line or from one of the TV shopping channels.”  Then she recounted a news story she just saw where 5 people were killed in a botched robbery of a Chicago Lane Bryant store.  Great.  Now we have to worry about death by fashion.

It’s a sick, sad world when wackos are out shooting random fatties just trying to buy a smock.  Lane Bryant was our last hope at a trip to town.  Now that’s been taken away.  Maybe I can convince her the hobby & craft stores are still safe.  At least if something bad happens there, you can arm yourself with and X-acto knife.  Unlike the fabric store, where your best defense would be to hurl a bolt of fleece at an attacker.  I guess the sewing machine will remain idol, too.

I should take my life into my own hands and serpentine to the grocery store.  I need to stock the pantry with canned goods so we can barricade ourselves in for another month.  It’s a bomb-shelter existence, but it’s better than dying in Lane Bryant.  Anyone have a parcel of land in Montana for sale?  I need to build a compound.