This Is Why I Need Medication


I wanted to write a post about our recent stay at Harrison Bay State Park near Chattanooga, Tennessee. We had a lovely time, but the write-up will have to wait because I had to deal with the local utility company today. This is why I take blood pressure medicine.

Essentially, I needed to have a utility bill forwarded. My daughter and son-in-law are moving to a town a couple hours away and leaving our mobile home empty. I wanted to transfer the account and have the bill sent to my house so there wouldn’t be a break in service. There’s some work to do before my other daughter moves into the trailer in December.

So I called Huntsville (Alabama) Utilities. After 12 minutes on hold, they informed me they can’t do that “over the phone,” but I can do it online. I set up web access to their site easily enough, only to discover there really isn’t an option to do what I need done. The closest thing is to use their “Move In” option. I get almost to the end of the handful of screens to discover they want my bank account information so they can charge me $70.

$70! That’s hella expensive mail forwarding. Plus, I had to lie on their form and say the breakers were all turned off. Their form assumes someone is going to actually connect service. This isn’t the case. No one has to do anything. Two computers simply need to talk to each other and change the name and billing address for the mobile home…and that costs 70 freakin’ US dollars!

I’m having anxiety about this whole deal, too. I just know some technician is going to show up and disconnect service at my house thinking I’m moving.

I told the guy on the phone, “It’s good to be a monopoly and not need to be responsive to your customer’s wants and needs.” No option to pay by credit card. Only bank drafts are accepted like it’s the Middle Ages. I guess I’m lucky there was even an online option and I didn’t have to schlep downtown and fill out a paper check or pay in beaver pelts and sexual favors, though, I do feel like I got screwed.

Ride 'em cowgirl style.
Ride ’em cowgirl style.

Thanks Huntsville Utilities for keeping Big Pharma in business. I have refills for my blood pressure meds waiting at the pharmacy and I’ll see my doctor about that rash. You should have yourself checkout, too. By law, I think you have to tell the next person you fuck that we’re sexually active, even though we’re obviously not exclusive, you promiscuous whore.

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One Comment

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  1. I really need to start a mail forwarding business….

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