abrasive · advertising · annoying · buzzawha · commercial · complaints · Publix · rant · sarcasm · shopping · stupidity

My Latest Tilted Windmill…BOGO

I’ve had it with BOGO. It means nothing. It is wasted space and must be expunged from the vernacular. I’ve begun my campaign with the Publix corporation because I spend many of my shopping hours in their stores. Here is the first salvo in what I am sure will be an up-hill battle against ridiculous double-speak like BOGO. I think you’ll get my reasoning from the correspondence I just submitted via the Publix web site’s feedback feature.

I recently noticed your web site began using the ridiculous, meaningless, marketing, double-speak “BOGO.” I cannot be the first person to notice that the marketing moron who invented this idiotic abbreviation had their head firmly implanted in their posterior. Use of this silly term, without any additional qualifier, adds absolutely nothing to your advertisements. “Buy One, Get One” is the foundation of capitalism and need not be repeated. It simply wastes advertising space. When I buy one of anything, I expect to get one of the item purchased.

This nonsensical acronym simply restates the obvious. If the intent of “BOGO” is to imply “Buy One, Get One Free” it must be qualified with the word “free” at some point in the advertisement. Otherwise, it is misleading. It isn’t beyond belief that “BOGO” might be featured prominently, while the qualifier “10% off,” appears in smaller type later in the advertisement. One might even qualify “BOGO” with “next Tuesday at the same price.” I am not implying that your advertisements are misleading in this way. These are just examples of how the unqualified use of “BOGO” might be used unscrupulously. As you see, by itself “BOGO” means nothing in the context of saving money or a temporary reduction in price.

I love my local Publix and rarely shop for groceries anywhere else. However, your adoption of this feckless phrase has me wondering if your corporate marketing personnel are in need of that medical procedure so often needed by marketing people, the cranial-rectal extraction.

If you are advertising a half-price, 50% off, or “Buy One Get One Free” sale, why not use any of those tried and true phrases that have served us so faithfully for decades? The use of “BOGO” is simply a silly trend that we must not allow to fester into something larger. Logical, right-thinking people everywhere must band together to stop the spread of “BOGO.” Please discontinue its use. Return to using words that actually mean something and don’t restate the obvious, assumed principle of capitalism that when I buy something, it get something.

Thank you for your consideration,
Mr. R. Barefoot
Madison, AL

So that’s it. I welcome your efforts in combating the spread of stupidity like “BOGO.” Next time, we put the knife to the neck of car dealerships trying to ram “Pre-owned” down our throats. None shall pass!

In something totally unrelated, here is my most recent attempt at being an ass-hat on Youtube. It is a foil-hat-induced reasoning of the cause of the recent D.C. earthquake à la Pat Robertson’s rant about the Haitian earthquake last year.

The happy, but sad thing about this video is the first comment left by some hapless soul trying to persuade me that the Air Force is using “lazers [sic]” to control the weather or something like that. I’m not really sure what he was getting on about.

Link to the video at YouTube.

~ Keep chasing the odd, little happy.


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