I’ve gone all out with the Xmas decorations this year. The house is ablaze with holiday cheer. The electricity is flowing and the meter is spinning wildly. I dread the January utility bill, but it’s Xmas and it only comes once a year.
This year, the whole family is coming over for caroling. We’ll be singing the traditional tunes, but with the alternative lyrics I wrote. If you’re interested in starting a new holiday tradition like us, you can find the lyrics here. Some say these are a little obsessive, but this year they are perfect. The new Tom Cruise abortion, Valkyrie is vomiting on movie screens nationwide this Xmas Day so why shouldn’t I profit from that little trolls so-called acting skills.
Why do I loathe all things Cruise? It’s really simple. People who are so absolutely full of their own shit need a constant reminder that they are human. Tommy acts like such a pompous jackass with his I-know-better-than-you-because-I-read-Dianetics-and-forked-over-an-obscene-amount-of-cash-to-the-“church”-of-Scientology attitude, he just needs a few reminders that, indeed, his shit does stink. When he started spewing his special brand of holier-than-thou, I-got-thousands-of-children-off-medications bullshit last year, I had to throw a shoe through my television.
So, yes, I loathe Tom Cruise and Scientology and bullshit in general. You are more than welcome to join in the holiday cheer with the alternative carol lyrics. Pour some egg-nog, put on your sun glasses and I’ll fire up the stunning Xmas lights. Here’s a photo of my massive decorations this year. Prepare to be stunned.
Merry Xmas to all and to all a good, Tom-Cruise-less night. Please don’t buy a ticket to Valkyrie. Your nonattendance of this film will count as your gift to me this year.