addiction · dumbass · funny · hospital · not funny · rant · stupid

Typing is Easier Without an IV Needle in Your Arm

I’m stuck in this blasted hospital for at least one more day while they double check enzyme levels. At least they have some Wi-Fi and my daughter was kind enough to drop off my laptop.

I was really sick of that stupid IV. Waltzing Matilda to the bathroom. Waltzing Matilda to the window. Waltzing Matilda to bed. Argh! The stupid line gets caught on everything. The first thing I asked the doctor today was, “Write an order to have this thing removed!” He put me on solid food and out came the IV.

Now when you haven’t eaten for 3 days, any food will do, even hospital food. But I think the doc lost his mind here. I should have gotten some tea and jello to start, not that chicken-like slab, mashed potatoes, and green beans. And where do they get off giving “bread pudding” with raisins to someone who might be diabetic? Dumbasses.

I first ask the doctor if I could just go home today. He said he really wanted to see how I did on real food first. Then he had the nerve to say, “Do you not have insurance?” WTF? Admitting screwed up, has me down for “no insurance” and this guy wants to keep me one more day? You’d think they’d be rolling me out in a wheel chair at midnight with my hand propped up in the “hail a cap” motion.

Did I mention I hate hospitals? You know I almost died to put myself in here. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Never again. Force of will…what ever it takes. Never again will I be such a dumbass. Hey, we all get one, may two if we’re lucky. I will miss the Demerol though.


15 thoughts on “Typing is Easier Without an IV Needle in Your Arm

  1. I hope you feel better soon and am sorry to hear you had to go through that. At least you may have missed the details of the housing bailout plan while on Demerol – and been spared that aggravation on top of everything else. I’m a bit envious of Demerol part of your experience but not the rest of it. Actually, though, I don’t get along well with Demerol.

  2. (HUGS) Take care of you… live Barefoot is much, much better than dead Barefoot, and I don’t need you haunting me.

    Be glad you got a good doctor. They discovered I was ‘no insurance’ and tried to get me out fast, too fast according to everyone who cared. A good doctor is one who does what’s best for you, not what’s best for someone’s bottom line.

    Then again, if our hospital hadn’t had wireless internet, I don’t think *I* would have stayed as long as I did, at least without going crazy.

    Take care, Randy, my friend. Please. I’ve been saying that for months, but now, maybe, just maybe, you’ll have to do it!

    Love and stuff,

  3. You’ll be home soon, Randy! At least they took that IV out. If you really want to get kicked out of the hospital early, have a baby! Even a preemie. They won’t be able to wait to boot your sore body out the door, *because* the insurance only wants to pay for two or three days. Randy, be well.

  4. I had no idea you were in the hospital. I was wondering where you had disappeared to. Almost died? Wow. I hope you get better soon…and when you do, PLEASE take good care of yourself. Gotta agree with Michy: “live Barefoot is much, much better than dead Barefoot.”

  5. Get better soon Randy. You may not like hospitals but aren’t you glad they were there and you could get treated?

    After the first dose, Demerol just makes me agitated and hyper and does nothing else. I’ll take morphine. THAT works for me.

  6. You’re in the hospital??? Did you need a break from work? Sending you positive vibes for feeling better. I’m sure you’ll have some (more) stories to tell.

  7. I haven’t been as active on the forums (lot of that goin’ around, I know), so I am behind the times. Hope you’re feeling better, for your sake and that of the forums, of which you are a pillar.

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