Tax Day Omens


The tax forms are in the mail. That and other tall tales can be told on this, the holiest of government days, tax day. Mine were pretty simple this year, just one W-2 and some miscellaneous income to report. My poor daughter, on the other hand, had to deal with things that I, bad parent that I am, never prepared her for. We got through it together.

So where’s the omen part, you ask? This wouldn’t be odd if I lived in some rural county, but I live in a city, the third largest city in Alabama, in fact. I work on a nice campus with lots of buildings and several industrial sites. We’re near the airport for cheese sake, but that makes it all the more strange to see a coyote running beside the highway.

My brain couldn’t accept it when I saw those ears and long tail streaking down the shoulder. At first, I thought it was a fox, but my brain said, “Too big for a fox.” Then I thought it had to be a stray dog, but my brain fought back with, “Look, dummy. It’s a coyote.” It dashed across the highway in front of me and up the other shoulder. The guy in front of me couldn’t believe it either. I almost ran him over as he slowed to gawk.

I wondered if the coyote and I would meet in the parking lot when I got to work, since we were both headed in that direction, but it swerved off towards the Kohler plant. I guess it needed to place an order for some coyote-sized bathroom fixtures.

Scavenging coyotes and taxes. A fitting tribute to our tax code. On April 15th, don’t you feel just a little picked over by Washington D.C.? I don’t mind paying my fair share. It’s the ridiculous tome the tax code has evolved into that bugs me. All those freakin’ forms! I spent 15 minutes filling out one worksheet, only to have TurboTax come back and say, “We’ll use the standard deduction.” Argh!

Write you member of Congress and tell them you want the tax code scrapped and feed to coyotes. Tell them you want the Fair Tax.

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6 Comments

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  1. Cool. I’ve seen plenty of wildlife in the city, but not a coyote. I bet that was a surprise. :)

  2. I wish we could get the Fair Tax. They (congress & senate) will talk about it to appease us, but will never do anything about it. We have too many “bottom feeder” attorneys up there to give us a break.

  3. He was headed to the Kohler plant because he had just been audited for taking too many write offs for all that ACME stuff. The IRS was suspicious that he didn’t have any receipts from any other gizmo companies. Apparently, a certain anonymous roadrunner had dropped a dime on him. Last I heard He and Kohler were collaborating on some sort of exploding rocket propelled bird faucet contraption that they believe will rid the world once and for all of those pesky birds. Beep! Beep!

  4. neighbor tells me we’ve got coyotes around here (though I haven’t heard ’em), but then I live next to what this year appears to be a wheat field.

    the 1040 is a relatively small part of our fiscal problems (not to mention the only one that can really be solved by software), most of which we are ignoring and have been ignoring for most of my life, and most of which a federal “fair tax” won’t fix. that should be more obvious to alabamians than to just about anyone else, given our complex and regressive state and local tax policies.

    redesigning the 1040, or overhaulng the tax system, is a great way to trick the public into believing that something meaningful is being done about federal spending while the deficits rage away in the background.

    skimming this fair tax website, I see that in order to make their numbers work, they have to assume that $1.5 trillion in black market transactions suddenly become taxable. If you think all those drug dealers are just gonna walk up to the feds and register for a sales tax, you must be contributing more to the black market than I thought.

  5. We got to start somewhere, JKC.

  6. One of the most valuable lessons one of my kids…I mean adult offspring….son learned was when he took a year off from school. He got his first official paycheck and nearly screamed when he saw all the payroll deductions. Then he revised his budget and realized all that money he was making wasn’t going to support the lavish lifestyle he’d envisioned as a single guy, no dependents.

    Within a year, he was back in college and thought it was much easier than supporting himself. He did work as well and bought a flat screen tv, lucky guy with no dependents.

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