Alabama · COFRA · crazy · fat · funny · law · legislation · Mississippi · obese · rant · stupid

No Soup for You, Lard Ass

Mississippi House Bill 282, currently before the state legislature, would prevent restaurants with more than five seats from serving obese people as determined by the state’s health department. Repeat offenders would be subject to fines or closure. Even the bills sponsor, W.T. Mayhall, Jr. says he knows the bill has less of a chance at survival than a bucket of KFC at a Weight Watchers meeting. He just wants the large, good people of Mississippi to consider their health and thinks this will get the conversation started. After all, Mississippi was just granted the title “fattest state in the nation,” with 62% of its population defined as obese.

My first thought when hearing this story was, “Why would restaurants want to keep out the fatties? They’re your best customers. This is like banning athletes from gyms.” Then there’s the whole problem of determining who is huge enough to face discrimination. Will Mississippi restaurants have to narrow their doors? Will they install the human-size version of the airport carry-on luggage measuring box? I imagine it will have a sign over it which reads, “If your ass is bigger than this, you are not welcome.” I wonder if signs like, “No shirt. No shoes. No Fatties.” are already being printed in the Magnolia state.

As bizarre as all that sounds, the really funny thing I learned while investigating this story is there is a real organization called The Coalition of Fat Rights Activists (COFRA). A group actually proud of their flab…er…glandular problem, who feel fat people face enough discrimination, they need an activist group. I’m no spring chicken, but I’ll stick with, “I could stand to lose a few pounds,” before I swing over the fence to “Fat is beautiful. RascalTM scooters for everyone!”

Here in Alabama, we have an expression for when people make fun of our state, “Thank God there’s Mississippi.” Having Mississippi as our neighbor really lowers the bar and takes all the pressure off.

More information from a more sane source.


12 thoughts on “No Soup for You, Lard Ass

  1. OMG, I just got finished reading this, just as I was lamenting over my fat hind parts. I was also just thinking to myself, we are in a society where manners and dignity are things of the past.

    I mean, being abusive and descriminating are the order of the day, so much so that people want to have their abusive points of view legislated! Sick world indeed.

  2. There’s already enough prejudice towards fat people in our society. I can only imagine what would happen if we give fat haters a licence-by-law to be the Food Police. First restaurants, then grocery stores. To eat, fatties would have to grow their own and then worry about the Food Police coming into their fields in the middle of the night to burn down their crops.

  3. ha I love the title. great title. I will tell you I dont think this will fly and you are right, who the hell do they think is going to eat in restaurants and by the most food. I can see why they don’t want fat people in their all you can eat buffets, but then oh well! very funny too. love the WW and KFC remark.

  4. This is pretty extreme, I did hear a little of this in the news. I can not beleive they could discriminate like that, that is a new low. Yes, sometimes I will admit when I see a super obese person in a restaurant I look at what they are eating, but I would never expect that they shouldn’t be there. This is going to piss a lot of fat people off! I hope they end up throwing cheeseburgers and shakes at the lawmakers! I enjoyed the read Barefoot!

  5. I would not stand between anyone, fat or thin, when it comes to food. I’ve seen those Whopper commercials where they tell people the Whopper has been discontinued. That was enough to convince me that when it comes to food, emotions run high. Yeah, right, let’s tell people with the inability or willpower or whatever….to stop eating at a particular and favorite restaurant. Say bye-bye to THAT restaurant.

  6. P.S. The Whopper has not been discontinued but I sure got an education in how people will react when they think it has become extinct. So much emotion over a particular burger. I’ve never had a Whopper. I must be WAY outside the loop of social history.

  7. I’m leaving your link in just for the entertainment value Hoodia. That’s just freakin’ funny that you found my little out-of-the-way blog and wanted to spam it. You’re my own personal ROFLcopter.

  8. Good Grief. What next. Oh yeah– *waves at barefoot* hello there. This is the first thing I’ve read this morning. I sit here with my tepid coffee and blurry vision. Hilarity is a great way to greet the morning.

  9. All I can say is hello weight loss supplements. :)
    They cannot be serious about this bill because each and every person has a right to poor health as long as socialized medicare does not become our next big move. If this were the case, all healthy people would be paying for healthcare for all those people who do not even try to eat right.

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