Another Good Reason to Never Leave the House


My wife suffers from agoraphobia.  To be completely honest, we both suffer from her agoraphobia. Now she has one more good reason to stay home.

She just popped in from the other room and said, “This is why I buy my clothes on-line or from one of the TV shopping channels.”  Then she recounted a news story she just saw where 5 people were killed in a botched robbery of a Chicago Lane Bryant store.  Great.  Now we have to worry about death by fashion.

It’s a sick, sad world when wackos are out shooting random fatties just trying to buy a smock.  Lane Bryant was our last hope at a trip to town.  Now that’s been taken away.  Maybe I can convince her the hobby & craft stores are still safe.  At least if something bad happens there, you can arm yourself with and X-acto knife.  Unlike the fabric store, where your best defense would be to hurl a bolt of fleece at an attacker.  I guess the sewing machine will remain idol, too.

I should take my life into my own hands and serpentine to the grocery store.  I need to stock the pantry with canned goods so we can barricade ourselves in for another month.  It’s a bomb-shelter existence, but it’s better than dying in Lane Bryant.  Anyone have a parcel of land in Montana for sale?  I need to build a compound.

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14 Comments

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  1. This is wierd! I had the same feeling when I saw that news story. I don’t have agoraphobia but after 911 I sure feel differently about going to certain places.

  2. I like the fact that yes the hobby and craft store could still be a very safe place to shop, I was thinking more along the line of throwing scissors and dumping styrofoam balls down so the attacker would be sidetracked a bit. Yes, now many women with moo moos and teachers outfits will just have to stay home away from the Lane Bryant stores!

  3. Imagine how hard I laughed today when, on the way back from a doctor’s appointment, out of the blue my wife said, “Let’s stop by Hobby Lobby.”

  4. I’m gone back and forth on the agoraphobia thing. Once I discovered that Xanax existed, a whole new world opened up. However, there are days when I prefer agoraphobia, lots of them. It takes a truly worthwhile event to make it worth a Xanax now and then. Besides, I’m terrified of tolerance or addiction so I stick with agoraphobia. You probably don’t have agoraphobia but I do. I travel but it is hell. Always. Still, one does what one has to, even if it is kicking and screaming the whole way.

  5. What I meant when I said you probably don’t have agoraphobia is that you might have been throwing the agoraphobia thing out there for comic effect. It can be pretty comic, actually. I see the humor in it but I might be the only one.
    Also, there was a recent novel, Town House (they are going to make it into a movie) about a guy with agoraphobia. I loved it so much I stayed home and read it, slowly, and didn’t leave the house until I had finished it. Not that I would have left the house, anyway, but it certainly didn’t make leaving the house seem MORE attractive. A book about agoraphobia, read by an agoraphobic. It reinforced every last shred of anxiety I had and had me laughing, too.

  6. No, jcorn I don’t have it. My wife does though. Nothing funny about that.

  7. No offense intended. Honest. I find humor in it, speaking only for myself, not for anyone else or their lives. Also, I probably have a variation as I can actually travel or leave the house, albeit with anxiety.

  8. If I did not have to work to support my kids I would probally never leave home either. A few years ago a 2 year girl was stabbed to death as her and her mother and aunt left a store next to a walgreens down the street from where I live because a scitsofrantic Man wanted their car keys. I vowed never to take my kids in public again but the reality is I can’t avoid it. I have to leave in the morning for work and grocery shop at least once a week. I’m trying to make sense of what stores should be safe. I shop at packed stores (20 plus people)because unless the perp. bombards the place with 10 friends there should be no way to gather everybody into one corner with out at least one smart person having a good fool proof plan. You have to leave sometime unless you are rich and can afford to never work and can buy enough stuff to suppliment the outside world. That is just my opinion.

  9. “No, jcorn I don’t have it. My wife does though. Nothing funny about that.”

    Darn skippy! I suffered a bout when I was like 20, it is very crippling, your self esteem suffers, life isn’t fair that others are “normal”, I could go on and on. I never got treatment, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and worked my own way through my issues. I do still get nervous when I travel and my husband probably thought I was a total loon on our honeymoon, but it is a part of who I am, what shaped my warped mind. But I am glad to hear she is getting treatment. I was too embarrassed to seek help when I needed it the most. Back then, leaving the house was done for short periods of time. And to be brutally honest, going from working to SAHM did concern me b/c once you’ve lived that hell, you never want to go back.

  10. LOL I can sympathize with her. I’m still convinced there’s somebody hiding in the back of my van though…

  11. I deal with this issue too jcorn. I do leave the house but it is as little as possible and it’s never without mentally preparing myself first. there are a few things I do relatively easily but it is always there lurking in the shadows regardless. sometimes it feels isolating and other times it feels comfy. every time it starts to feel comfortable I go and do something that forces me to get out of that comfy zone. I have no idea why I do that to myself but I do. agoraphobia is really hard to live with and it’s equally hard on family members.

  12. Its funny and not funny. I, too, would never leave the house if given the choice, but an upcoming trip which involves a plane trip (with my parents) is putting me ever so close to the edge. They want me to stay a full 7 days, I think I can handle 4 days and I dont even want to do that.
    I just got through a nasty divorce where I had an order of protection from my husband, but he ended up getting himself arrested and is now in jail for a while. I have been through hell these last few years, I wouldnt wish what happened to me on my worst enemy. But family(my mother in particular) needs to realize if this is what is happening to me now, help me through it and dont make it worse by forcing me to take a trip I do not want to take. What they dont realize…if they make me do this, for the full 7 days it will be the last trip I ever take for the rest of my life!

  13. Will I get paid for overtime?

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