humor · Life

The Douglas Adams Experience

If you’ve read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy you’ll relate to my day. The book opens with the Earth being destroyed by an alien construction crew. When the humans complain that they were never notified of the impending hyperspace bypass, the aliens explain that a copy of the order was posted for public viewing for the last six months back on their home planet in the basement of a courthouse.

Today, in real life, in real time, I journeyed to the center of the government mentality.

I was checked at the gate of a secure military facility. You have to have a sticker on your car (check) and proper identification (check) that indicates you work there to get through the gate. Gate traversed.

I entered a secure building. You must display your identification at all times. In fact, your badge must be keyed correctly before the door scanner will allow entry. Badge scanned. Door opened.

I traveled to the heart, the dead center of this locked building, past the elevators, down the hall, to the object of my quest. Shining lights beamed from the the golden room, the prize I sought stood majestically before me. On the wall beside the door a sign as from the Lord indicated my journey’s end, a simple plaque that read, “Office of PUBLIC Inquiry”.

“He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.” — Douglas Adams, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”


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