Crappy Crappers


Get a low-flow toilet. You’ll save water and mother earth. BAH!

I hate these freakin’ low-flow toilets AND they don’t save water. It’s simple math. A 5-gallon flush is all you need. Press. Walk away. Done. A 3-gallon low-flow uses 6 gallons of water because you have to hang around (use the time to wash your hands) and flush the stinking thing again.

They never get it all on the first flush. I’m constantly flushing every toilet in the house 2 and 3 times to make sure they are acceptable for the next occupant. Low-flows clog more than their big brothers. If I’m not flushing, I’m plunging. Not a week goes by that I don’t spend 15 minutes trying to unclog one of the toilets in my house.

Here’s my suggestion for all you hippies who can’t grasp the concept of math, water savings and cleanliness: Get the ultimate low-flow solution. Dig yourself an outhouse. You can save the earth by braving the cold on a winter’s night. Leave me and my 5 gallon guzzler alone. Dirty hippies! Quit trying to save my world with your silly ideas.

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7 Comments

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  1. I once wrote a blog about this topic, too. Since we moved into a brand new house 3-4 years back I’ve unplugged the toilet an average of once a month. I’ve never had to do that in my entire life with the old style toilets. I share your frustration, Randy. :)

  2. Shake you fist harder at those smelly, earth-hugging hippies, Jean!

  3. this is a classic…From a person that feels your pain, I have a low flow and I’ ll cash in my 401K if I have to in order to buy a regular toliet…I feel like shooting the Lowe’s rep that convince me in buy this piece of crap, and they won’t take it back, cause it was USED!!!… (deep breath…Im ok now) thanks for sharing LOL

  4. LOL! You mean to tell me, in your house, it’s not: “if it’s yellow…”

  5. no, no, no!
    Flush, flush, flush!
    Drive all those hippies
    into dust.

    Hey, I got a march slogan now.

  6. I abhor those low flow toilets. They should include a plunger with each purchase. The only time I had problems with the old kind was the time my toddler daughter decided to put all the diaper wipes in the toilet at once and watch them swell up, then flushed or I should say didn’t flush…LOL I am constantly running from one bathroom to the other with the plunger, but hey it is exercise…

  7. AMEN Brother Barefoot.

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