astrology · funny · ridiculous · stupid

Runaway Experiment

It all started when I stumbled across a forum post. Someone (I’ll be vague to protect the innocent) asked if anyone was interested in astrology. The skeptic in me posted back and incredulous, “Really?! You believe that bunk?” That gave me the idea to write my Debunking Astrology article. I also offered to debate the original poster when the article published.

There’s about a one-week lag in submission and acceptance at Associated Content. I whiled or should I say “wiled” away the time creating my phony government report. To my surprise, not everyone was fooled by the obvious ruse. I was starting to have delusions of L. Ron Hubbard and thought about starting my own religion.

To prove my point that horoscopes are so generic that they can apply to anyone, I solicited my would-be forum debate opponent to create my chart, which was done with great accuracy.

As preface to this, let me say that my comments made were accurate and true. My agreement with the reading is, to my embarrassment, real. Furthermore, I admit to being a complete and total bastard for doing this. In my defense…OK…I have no defense. I just have to lay it out there when people are dumb. Here is my opening salvo in the debate:


Here is the exacting chart I had prepared (in quotations followed by my comments) based on the birth date of April 16, 1962. 10:18 UT location Midland TX:

“You’re an Aries sun at 26 degrees (a critical degree) in the 11th house. That means your Aries sun manifests in an 11th house manner. You like to initiate projects and do creative activities which are meaningful & have a good cause.”
I do! I do! I love initiating projects. I consider myself creative, especially when the cause is meaningful.

“You like to work in a group, not by yourself.”
Batting 1000. Group work is much more productive for most activities. I love the interaction and banter.

“You have a wild imagination, an eclectic personality, & you never lose hope in your ability to succeed.”
Yep. Dead on. You should see my music collection, very eclectic. My hope springs eternal.

“Because of your eleventh house placement in both Sun and Mercury, you have a sharp sense of how people think.”
Well, I don’t know why, but I can size people up pretty quickly. I’m a pretty good salesman.

“A young but wise soul.”
But of course I am. Didn’t need a sun dial for that one.

“The house of your sun illustrates your personality more thoroughly than the sign since the house is more personal. The sign of any given planet manifests through its house. you have Cancer rising which makes its ruler, the moon, more influential in your life. Your moon is in Virgo in the 4th house.”
I have no idea what that means. Tell me more about my eyes.

“Perhaps it took you years to move out of your parents’ house? Moon in Virgo makes you critical, scientific (which explains why you’re skeptical of the supernatural & other ‘faith-based’ things.”
I am a logical person. Very skeptical. But wait now, I left at 18 to start my own family. That’s a little shaky, but I’ll take the compliment.

“You now have sun progressing Gemini, Leo ascendant, and moon in Taurus in the 10th house. so what does this all mean? it means that for much of your life you had sun in Taurus and Gemini, rather than Aries. But that’s not say that you’re not an Aries -you’re very much an Aries. Your temperament is & always will be an Aries.”

OK. Here’s the problem. That is a very accurate description of me. No lie. Very, very accurate. Only I wasn’t born in Midland, TX on April 16, 1962.

So if anyone knows my twin in Midland (he may have moved to Odessa back in 1987), please call me. I’d love to meet myself.


Sure it was a dirty trick to give a fake DOB, but it was crucial to my experiment. Needless to say, the debate did not go as planned, but as expected. My opponent made disparaging remarks about my level of maturity and how petty I was and how their beliefs should not be questioned.

It’s human-nature to question everything. If you pick the easy answer, like astrology, you haven’t really thought for yourself. If you hold so steadfastly to your beliefs, so tenaciously that you can’t let go for one minute, you will strap a bomb to yourself and blow up a market defending those beliefs. Questions don’t always have answers, but sometimes they give us enough pause to not kill innocent lives.


2 thoughts on “Runaway Experiment

  1. I was born under a bad sign. I can’t remember if it was Stop, Yield or Detour. I do know that my moon is rising in the outhouse and my mercury is careening down a retrograde. I did park my Tauras in the third house but that was because it belonged to my cousin and he was on vacation. My wife’s always giving me the third degree and I’m so bright my folks call me Sun. The house of my son is usually pretty messy. Oh, and I didn’t move out of my parent’s house they threw my ass out. Think you can get me one of them readings you devil you?

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