CNN, FoxNews & MSNBC Report

Stories past, present, and future as they would appear on the big 3 cable news station.

Rome Sacked by Barbarians

CNN: Liberating Goth forces dealt a blow for democracy as they looted the decadent city of Rome. Senators and the despot-for-life have abandoned their charge of the citizenry and are fleeing the city. Goth leaders promise a new order as soon as an equitable, progressive tax system can be put in place to pay for the rebuilding.

FoxNews: Civilization as we know it was dealt a blow as marauding barbarians overran the fair and ancient city of Rome today. Brave Roman defenders where worn down by the Goth’s uncivilized warfare tactics, including the senseless slaughter of civilians. The Senate-in-absentia promised to retake the city and relieve the plebeians of the heavy barbarian taxation. The Emperor vowed to stop the barbaric practice of killing the general populous by the sword and restore the time-honored tradition of gladiatorial executions.

MSNBC: Bread production halted; reporter to be dispatched as soon as the Associated Press releases more information.


The Crusades

CNN: East-West relations took a step backwards today when negotiations between the hard-line Papacy and Muslim rulers of some historic cities in Palestine broke down. . . >>read the rest>> 


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