Welcome to the Web. Know Your Enemy.

The web’s greatest enemies are word processing programs. They do violent and unpredictable things to web forms. With a little knowledge you can avoid hours of heartache and destruction.

Now don’t even start with the, “but every web site on earth needs to work with Microsoft Word.” The worldwide web standards are not controlled by Microsoft. Just because you happen to use MS Word for everything is no reason for the rest of the world to conform to your limits. Arm yourself with a little knowledge and get with the program.

KISS it
“Keep is Simple Stupid,” is the best advice you can take away from this article. Use a very basic text editor to write things you plan to paste into a web form. Articles, resumes, and feedback rants are all examples.

Why are word processor so heinous?
Programs installed on your PC have access to the PC’s operating system, font definitions and formatting options. They also use proprietary codes to work their magic. Web servers do not have these nifty attributes. They expect you to provide plain text. When your text contains codes the web form can’t decipher, horrible, nasty things happen.

If you have dodged the bullet until now, chances are you were just keeping it simple when typing in Word. Trust me it will bite you eventually.

A little HTML goes a long way
The web runs on HTML. Just learning a little bit can be a life-saver. There is absolutely no reason to not learn the basics. Having a “mental block” is not an excuse. HTML is too easy. You need only know a hand-full of tricks to simplify your life.

1. Hypertext Markup Language is all about putting tags around your text which make the browser do certain things. HTML tags are inclosed in less-than and greater-than signs. To mark the end of what you want the tag to do, you use less-than, slash, tag, greater-than. Seriously, it’s that simple. For example <b>make it bold</b> gives you make it bold.

2. Know the basic tags: b=bold, u=underline, i=italics. That will cover 90% of your formatting needs.

3. Hyperlinks are simple. HTML has a multi-tasking tag called the anchor. You use it to create many things, but the one you’ll need most is a hyperlink. The format is: <A HREF=”http://thebarefoot.wordpress.com”>My Blog</A>. This leaves the words “My Blog” for the reader to see, but if they click on them, their browser goes to the address. So the results are: My Blog. (Note: the tag is case-insensitive.).

Why should you listen to me?
I know. I know. Some say this is all too difficult to bother learning, but I promise it will save your text one day. Some say, “Word has worked so far,” but I promise it will get you eventually.

I happen to be the technical weenie for a site which process hundreds of résumés each day. About once a week, we get notice of someone whose résumé won’t transfer correctly. One hundred percent of these cases have been people who pasted word-processor documents directly into the web site which houses their résumé. If you’ve ever been perplexed by Associated Content not displaying your article correctly, just think how these poor people feel when the window to apply for the job is closing in a few hours and they have no résumé to send.

All you Word die-hards, I’ll be looking for you in the AC forums. It’s just a matter of time before you post in a panic.

Stupid Word of the Day: Retired

Maybe I’m over thinking things again, but where the heck did the word “retired” come from? We all know it is the golden time in life when you have enough money, you can quit working, but you’re too old to do those things you’ve been wanting to do. Still, it looks odd.

I’m in my prime-producing, work years. Does that mean I’m “tired?” Well, some days, yes, but most of the time, I feel fine. Should I be looking forward to being tired again, AKA re-tired? Sounds a bit depressing. Maybe my tread has worn thin from the road of life, and I need to be retired like an old pair of whitewalls.

All our lives we are tired and when we reach our golden years, we just get tired all over again…retired. This thought makes me want to hang myself. Can’t we come up with a better word? When I’m able to stop working, I want it to at least sound fun, even if I’m too old and decrepit to do any of the fun things I have planned.

“Golden years” is a decent euphemism, but we need one word, something short and sweet, to jazz up retirement (dang, there it is again). How about “recess?” Remember recess? What a bright spot in any grade-schooler’s day. How great would it be to turn 65 and get to have recess again, like you were eight years old.

Instead of a cruise, we could play kickball. Instead of buying an RV, we could drag out our old Tonka trucks and Matchbox cars, and play in the dirt. When I’m 65, I want to have recess. I don’t want to be retired.

Any thoughts? What word would you use to replace “retired?”

Be True to Yourself

Just to let y’all know, I practice what I preach. I had a medical check up last Wednesday and, as a result, had about 5 prescriptions to refill. I went directly to my friendly, neighborhood, Publix pharmacy. I did not pass “Go.” I did not collect $200.

Taking my own advice about messing with the pharmacy techs, I put on my best “I’m sick and dying” face and approached the counter. Handing my list of drugs to the new girl, with a slight crackly cough in my voice, I said, “I’m very sick and need all of these filled. I have drug-resistant tuberculosis.”

The pharmacist slowly leaned back to get a look at who was at the window. I waved and she said, “I just needed to see who they let out.” When I checked out, she told me I’d better be wearing a surgical mask next visit.

I love my life. I love that I have no inhibition chip in my brain when it comes to having a laugh or sharing a smile.

But on a more serious note, I witnessed a horrible event on that fateful trip to Publix. A woman was killed right before my disbelieving eyes. I wrote the grizzly details at Associated Content. It isn’t a story for the feint of heart or weak of bladder. Woman Beaten to Death in Local Supermarket, if you’re interested.

How to get help from Associated Content or Any Where For That Matter

I’ve had a draft article about how to get good customer service lying around for months. I did write something similar back in Aug 2006 about calling 800 numbers, but I keep thinking I should rewrite it to include how to write an effective email.

You ask, “Why?” The easy answer is, I’m on the receiving end of many similar emails. Additionally, I see so many rants in the AC forum about Associated Content being unresponsive. I can honestly say, Associated Content has never been unresponsive when I emailed a concern. Does AC love me more than you? No. AC gives priority to clear, concise emails with enough details to address the problem. That’s the kind of email that gets a response.

You don’t have to take my word for it. The following block is straight from the man who handles all of AC’s incoming emails.

1. BE SPECIFIC. If there is one specific article you’re having trouble with, tell us the title. If it’s already published, having a URL of the live content will help IMMENSELY, and will let us fix the issue faster for you. It will also help EVERYONE on the site, as we will be able to move more quickly between issues.

2. Don’t just rant. You would be shocked at how many emails I get on a daily basis that are just rants, which really don’t give any information. “YOU NEED TO PAY ME FOR THIS ARTICLE” does not describe the problem you’re having. We want you to have a positive experience at AC, but if there is an issue that’s keeping you from getting paid, once again, we need specifics.

3. Be nice. Ultimately, we’re all on the same team here. Every day, I remind myself that what’s best for the CP’s is best for AC. We’re not on different teams, we’re not playing against each other. AC is really not trying to “pull one over” on you. Also, the people reviewing your content are educated, they are smart, and they are good at their jobs. Insulting them isn’t going to help anyone do anything. At the end of the day, we are all in this together.

4. One email will do it. If you’re having an issue, you email, and you don’t hear back in 20 minutes, that’s normal. I get more than 200 emails per day, all of which need to be read and answered. Sending multiple emails about the same issue on the same content really slows the process for everyone.

I feel his pain, so let me expound on this just a bit.

5. Include Details. Dates, URLs, and article titles are very important. If needed, use dates to build a time-line of the events. In describing the problem, include the steps that you took which lead there. For example, “I was using the General template to submit an article on May 6th. I pressed buttons 1, 2, 3 and then got a blank page.”

6. Be Concise. Don’t address more than one concern in the email. Get to the point and stay on track. A bullet-point list is easier for the email recipient to scan than a 500-word ranting paragraph.

7. Use the Subject Field. In the subject field of your email, include something that gives a clue about the email’s contents. For example, are you reporting a technical bug with the web site? The subject line should read something like, “Technical Bug With Web Site. Broken URL.”

8. Include Your System Info. If your problem appears technical in any way, include you operating system (OS) and browser specifics. Don’t know what those are? It’s simple. For Microsoft Windows, right-click the My Computer icon and choose Properties. There’s your OS. “MS Windows” isn’t good enough. Include the version number. To get your browser information, select the Help > About menu.

9. Don’t assume things are FUBAR unless they are repeatable. Stuff happens. It doesn’t mean it’s AC’s problem 100% of the time. Try to replicate the problem before firing off an email. It may have just been a temporary network drop. It may have been something you did. Slow down, try it again, and make notes of what you’re doing. This will help if you do end up sending an email.

These are the things to which AC or any site responds. I’ll go out on a limb and say those forum posts about AC’s unresponsiveness are probably the result of failure to adhere to rule number 2 and 4. When you read those, between the lines is, “I fired off an mindless rant with no details and didn’t hear back so I fired off 5 more emails.” I guarantee you, those emails went straight to the trash folder.

These are the tips from the guys who get emails everyday about problems with web sites. You don’t have to take them to heart, but then you don’t have to have your problem resolved either.

Life Lesson #122: Never buy shoes by mail.

I don’t care how attractive the offer is, the return postage cost is well worth the trip to the shoe store. Always take the time to physically try on shoes in a brick and mortar shop. Your feet will thank you. Your wallet will thank you. Your letter carrier will thank you for not having to pick up a blood-soaked box the next day. The internet is great for most things, but shoe buying isn’t one of them.

Breaking the Streak: 3 in 1 Month

I’ve been accused of only writing one Associated Content article per month. That has been true for a while, but something about Spring, the daffodils on the lawn, or just trying to delay doing my income taxes has prompted me to produce 3 whole articles this month.

At the end of 2006, I wrote Relationships: What Women Want and in addition to standing the test of time, it has one of the funniest lines I’ve ever written. Now I’ve taken those precepts and turned them on their ear with my latest lack-luster masterpiece, Why Your Woman Left You…

This report is the culmination of 25 years of research by The Barefoot Human Behavior and Scatological Research Group, LLC. I just wanted to make it clear that this is a scientific paper and not just some ass hat barking farts on the web. You can read the full report here.

Associate Content Tip of the Day 17 Mar 2008: Dealing with Plagiarism

Here is Associated Content’s official policy on pursuing plagiarism:

Here’s some clarification that we hope will help any CP who finds their content has been posted/published/reprinted/etc. on a third-party site that isn’t a partner site of AC’s:FACT: If we grant reprint permission for a piece of content to ANY other site, AC will always notify the CP.

For EXCLUSIVE content:
Associated Content is the copyright owner of all exclusive content. While a CP may be the original author, Associated Content is the only entity that can act legally on behalf of the content in question. If you find an exclusive article on an inappropriate site, please contact AC’s Designated Agent at designated_agent@associatedcontent.com. Include the link to the offending website, as well as a link to your content on AC. Only Associated Content has the legal right to send an effective DMCA takedown notice to an offending company/website. We handle these types of cases multiple times every week, so the Designated Agent will be your best step. Any DMCA complaint that you send to a third-party will be defective, as you are no longer the copyright owner.

For NON-EXCLUSIVE content:
Unfortunately, because the content in question was licensed to AC on a non-exclusive basis, we have no way of knowing whether the offending site published the content before or after it was published on AC. Accordingly, we will not necessarily take any action against the site. (At our discretion, AC may send a Cease and Desist order, but we are not required to.) However, since you [the CP] retained the rights to the content, you are free to enforce your rights against the inappropriate third-party for copyright infringement. Depending on where you find your content reprinted, there should always be a contact or link that every company supplies for copyright infringement complaints that looks similar to our “Copyright Infringement?” link at the bottom of each page.

What I get from this is if you submitted your article as an AC exclusive, AC owns the rights and will pursue the matter for you. You only need to report it to their Designated Agent and they’ll take if from there. If you submitted the article as non-exclusive, you still own the rights and AC is under no obligation to help you. You should take action to rectify the situation.

Doing this yourself can be difficult especially if the thief is a blogger. My recent experience is pretty typical when a blogger steals your article. With no other way to contact them, I was reduced to leaving comments on their blog. After receiving no response for a couple of days, I resorted to reporting them to their host. The host, which happened to be WordPress, took swift action to suspend the blog.

It is important to note, I used all the magic DMCA words when I contacted WordPress. If you are going to pursue copyright infringement on your own, you will need to be very specific with URLs, publishing dates, and use the right language. Under the law, if you follow the DMCA legalese, the responsible party must follow up.

Because of my recent saga, I found a great resource, Plagiarism Today. It has lots of information on how to deal with plagiarists. There is also a very helpful Stock Letter section. Simply fill in the blanks and you have an officially worded DMCA cease and desist letter.

The really hard part about enforcing your copyright is finding out that you’ve been plagiarized. You could pay for a service like Copyscape if that is worth your money, but there is a cheesy free way to follow your work. Set up a Google alert for a key phrase or two from your article. This will notify you if the phrase shows up elsewhere on the web.

The goal is to find wholesale plagiarism. Finding just a except falls under the fair use rules. Don’t freak out if you find one paragraph which cites you as the source or links back to your original article. That’s a good thing. However, if you do find a paragraph or two which someone incorporated into their own work and they didn’t cite you, that is plagiarism.

Good Luck and happy hunting.

Associated Content Promotes MySpace Spamming: They Didn’t Think This Through

Category: Associated Content Boneheaded Idea

UPDATED:  Please see the comments for AC response to this post.

Part of the AC Newsletter for 13 March 2008 was some less-than-helpful tips for promoting your article using MySpace.

Make friends with a friend adder bot. This tool collects a list of MySpace users and then sends out requests for you.

This is an incredibly bad idea.

1. It’s against MySpaces TOS. If caught, you’ll have your account deleted.
2. It’s spam. The adding friends part isn’t, but when you start blasting out bulletins, you’ll get blocked.
3. It’s going to give you and Associated Content a black eye.

My jaw hit the floor after the implications of these suggestions sank in. Please do not take AC up on this. Earn your MySpace friends and you will build a long-term, loyal reader base. Scoop and spam random strangers will get you dropped from all circles.

Just one more thing. This was in the AC Newsletter, too:

Make your MySpace page work for you by using colors, fonts and pictures to showcase your content or use the AC-themed layout.

You MySpacers need to open your eyes. I’m starting to think they are closed because you don’t see how butt-ugly your pages are. Tone it down. Stop with the flashing crap. You’re giving people seizures. Pick colors you can see. Stop putting lavender text on a pink background.

Bone up on some basic web concepts such as correct color combination and white space. Spend a few minutes at Web Pages That Suck. It’s a site that teaches you decent design concepts by showing you what other sites have done poorly. Don’t be surprised if you run into a few examples drawn from MySpace.

Good luck and don’t spam.

Associate Content Tip of the Day 27 Feb 2008: 6 Common Internet Writing Mistakes

Nannette Richford put together Six Common Internet Writing Mistakes. These are not the usual cast of characters. You’ll find some real food for thought in this article. Think of it as web writing 201.

5. Do you have the mistaken notion that crafting well-written and insightful content is all that is needed to attract readers? It isn’t. You need to do your homework and find a way to draw readers to your content. “If you build it, they will come.” Only works in the movies. In real life, you need to build a pathway for them to follow. Think of search engines as a path leading to your content. Even the work of literary geniuses will never be read if there is no pathway to their work.

This and 5 more great tips await. >> Read More >>

Editing and Resubmitting an Associated Content Article

Before an Offer
At any time before an offer/rejection is extend, you have the opportunity to edit your article. Login. Select ‘My Account’ and click on ‘My Content’. Next to the article you want to change, click the ‘e’ icon. You’ll walk through all the same pages you did when you first submitted and have a chance to change any of the settings or text.

The only things you can’t change are pictures. Once you’ve attached a picture, you’re stuck with it. If you want to remove a picture, you have to start a new article. You can, however, attach more pictures at this stage.

After an Offer/Rejection (up-front payment consideration)
You may select to edit an resubmit by selecting the option from the drop-down menu next to the offer in the Content area. Your will walk back through the same pages again. Your article will go back in queue for a few more days until a content manager (CM) gets to it again.

If your rejection included a request to make changes, create a new article. Leave the old article in place and submit the new article with the changes. This lets the CM know you are complying with the request. If you just change the one that is there, when they get back to it four days later, they will not remember they asked you to make changes and will tell you to stop resubmitting the same, rejected article.

Changing to PV-only After a Rejection
You have two options:

1. Use the edit and resubmit drop-down. Change the payment consideration to PV-only. Click to the end and save. Don’t do this!. The article goes back into queue and you must wait for a CM to circle back around and publish it. Many people report that even when they use this method, the CM barks about resubmitting rejected material. They often don’t see you’ve changed the payment method.

2. Start a new article. Copy and paste your old article, bit by bit, to the new template. Publish your article immediately. Delete the old article. Don’t forget to press the “Publish” button at the top of the review page. This works every time.