Spell be dispelled

So I found a few minutes this weekend to write a short advertisement for my new business. As Halloween approaches, I figured this was the perfect opportunity to hire myself out as the Anti-Psychic. See what normality can do for you.

Hire the Anti-Psychic today!

Time and energy

I’ve wanted to sit and write several articles this week. Associated Content is beckoning. I feel like there is something that needs saying, but I’ve become the victim of deadlines. Work is hot and heavy right now leaving me little time or energy to write.

The thoughts and ideas don’t stop. Sometimes they just come in dreams of html, perl and javascript. I’m doing my best to not let them get lost in the daily struggle that is life. I’m scribbling them down as fast as I can and hope to give them the proper treatment soon. Life has regrets and I’m glad mine are small at this point in my life. If not being able to write is the biggest problem I have (it’s not, but let’s say it is), I’m blessed.

Now it’s off to some sci-fi decompression and a few forums to share.

The Rewards of Getting Out of Your Cubicle

Leaving your comfort zone can be a very rewarding exercise. For the last two weeks, I’ve participated in an experiment at work that culminated in one of life’s biggest rewards.

My job is to consult, design, and create software solutions. Normally, I work in what some would call a cube-farm, hundreds of people in dozens of groups all trying to work towards a goal from different directions. It’s not always the most effective way of tackling a problem. We thought we’d try something different.

We broke our problem down into small tasks and put members from each group into one room. The productivity went through the roof! We are getting ahead of our goals on a regular basis, but you can’t put that many stressed people in one room without some shenanigans. After two weeks and several successes, things got a little weird.

The best time for weirdness is Friday afternoon . . . >>read the rest>>

My Top Eight Reasons for Hating MySpace.com

My apologies to your search engine. This article was written as a satirical piece on addictions and self absorbency. If you were looking for help with your MySpace codes, this ain’t the place. If you were looking for a laugh and a little introspection feel free to read the original article.

Please stop emailing me about this. I can’t read your emails for the clown voices screaming in my head.

Laugh at least once today even if it’s at someone falling on their butt.

CBS Evening News Loses its Mind

All I can say is, “Wow!” A jaw-dropping, head-spinning, jowl-shaking “Wow!”

I thought my satirical piece on the alleged gas price conspiracy was so completely out there that no one could possibly believe such drivel. Leave it to the internet public to prove me wrong. The comments that the article received were unbelievable.

Here is a typical comment that was posted under the articles incarnation at Gather.com.

“Look into it. $10-20 per barrel is from speculation. Since dereg[ulation] over the counter and spot trades are not recorded. Hence billions of dollars are pumped into the oil market by buyers intentionally unknown. Now, who has the pockets and motive to keep the oil spec[ulation] market artificially high? What industry is wallowing in cash and would directly benifit? [sic] And who in Federal government has long ties to that industry? Connect the dots.”

Whoa! Somewhere there are always true believers. Now even the CBS Evening News is getting into the conspiracy game. . . >>read the rest>>

CNN, FoxNews & MSNBC Report

Stories past, present, and future as they would appear on the big 3 cable news station.

Rome Sacked by Barbarians

CNN: Liberating Goth forces dealt a blow for democracy as they looted the decadent city of Rome. Senators and the despot-for-life have abandoned their charge of the citizenry and are fleeing the city. Goth leaders promise a new order as soon as an equitable, progressive tax system can be put in place to pay for the rebuilding.

FoxNews: Civilization as we know it was dealt a blow as marauding barbarians overran the fair and ancient city of Rome today. Brave Roman defenders where worn down by the Goth’s uncivilized warfare tactics, including the senseless slaughter of civilians. The Senate-in-absentia promised to retake the city and relieve the plebeians of the heavy barbarian taxation. The Emperor vowed to stop the barbaric practice of killing the general populous by the sword and restore the time-honored tradition of gladiatorial executions.

MSNBC: Bread production halted; reporter to be dispatched as soon as the Associated Press releases more information.

 

The Crusades

CNN: East-West relations took a step backwards today when negotiations between the hard-line Papacy and Muslim rulers of some historic cities in Palestine broke down. . . >>read the rest>> 

Time. Age. The drippy faucet.

Time. Age. The drippy faucet. Things we can’t stop. My philosophy is, embrace them.
I am trying to have a positive outlook about growing older. They say age brings wisdom. I am looking forward to that, but in the meantime, my body is just mocking me. I’m not talking about the new, little aches and pains that surprise me every morning. I’m talking about my body deliberately mocking me.

Age and heredity dealt me the slowly-going-bald gene. I can accept that. I told the stylist to put down the hand mirror at the end of my last haircut. I don’t need to see the back, thank you. . . >>read the rest>>